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I am back in the small collegiate town I swore I would not return to. It is my second unexpected return for an unknown duration – a half a year, a year, a lifetime – I do not know. I am mostly alone; the few people I know are either professional or superficial in acquaintance, and I am too far removed to associate in any non-working manner with the students.


This town is heartbreakingly secluded and tremendously beautiful. My stay here is buoyed by a locale that offers the perfect atmosphere to correct parts of my life that have turned upside down but weighted by a complete lack of social progression at a time of my life where I have a tremendous want to date and socialize. Like my previous times here, I feel like I have entered a limbo, a place where all of my foibles, faults, flaws, and fears cancel out my triumphs, experiences, skills and dreams.

The feeling of existing in such a state makes me acutely aware of how many things in life I have experienced and let fade from memory. I hope that this journal can help me take some snapshots, if simply for my own accounts, of the things that make life here so special, and to gauge from you, the reader, if I am leaning more towards those fears and foibles or the triumphs and dreams.

As small as the readership for this journal will be, I will be talking rather intimately about real people in a real town, so I have changed names whenever possible. I'm traditionally a nomadic person, so I'm familiar with many parts of the world, including the U.S. where I live. When I say things like 'Waffle House', I could really be in an 'I-HOP', 'Friendlies', 'Denny's', or just a 'cafe'. The same applies with bar names, restaurants, academic professions, and anything else I can change that would not drastically alter the point of the observation. Some entries are slightly off for a day or two to mix up any notes I may have about weather or certain events. I'm sure an astute person could figure out where I live, but I ask them to keep such a secret to themselves - I will make a point to erase any comment that guesses at a location.

I do this because for all the wonderful and horrible things that happen in this town, it would break my heart if some of my thoughts where to reach the ears of the people who live here. I think of this journal as being analogous to having a long conversation with a trusted friend and confidant that keeps such musings close to his/her heart in absolute secrecy.

With that being said, I find myself honored to see anyone reading this beyond myself.

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